F.F.net's (rushed) Christmas Carol Concert
by Stikibunn
Summary: It's a little rushed and not exactly funny but what the hey it's a good read
1. Default Chapter

F.F.Net.s (Rushed) Christmas Special  
  
---  
  
A/N: I didn't have enough time to rewrite the Christmas carols in this fic so I just used the originals  
  
Disclaimer: Isn't it obvious NOBODY on fanfiction.net owns Zelda or any other characters they didn't invent  
  
---  
  
Sticky Bun wrote this fic, the Authors appearing here were not asked (not enough time!) sorry guys  
  
---  
  
::In Hyrule castle town, a large stage has been set up in the courtyard where the windmill guy attacked Saria (see Big Brother Darunia) it is decorated with all kinds of Christmas-y things::  
  
Sticky bun: Hi and welcome to Fanfiction.Net's (Rushed) Christmas carol singing. thing  
  
Poppet: Tonight several Zelda characters (and authors) will sing carols.  
  
Sticky: Dur!  
  
Poppet: can we get on with the first song already?  
  
Sticky: Ok here's Malon singing.  
  
Both: Silent Night.  
  
1.1.1.1.1 Silent night, holy night,  
  
all is calm; all is bright  
  
Round yon virgin mother and child.  
  
Holy infant so tender and mild,  
  
Sleep in heavenly peace.  
  
Sleep in heavenly peace.  
  
1.1.1.1.2 Silent night, holy night,  
  
Shepherds quake at the sight,  
  
Glories stream from heaven afar,  
  
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia;  
  
Christ the Savior, is born!  
  
Christ the Savior, is born!  
  
1.1.1.1.3 Silent night, holy night,  
  
Son of God, love's pure light  
  
Radiant beams from thy holy face,  
  
With the dawn of redeeming grace,  
  
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth.  
  
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth.  
  
:: While this is going on we turn our attention to the crowd of people watching this event where the "Cucco Chasing Girl" (aka: Lulu) is sitting on the grass (the sages have used their sage-y powers to make it warm and dry making no snow at all)::  
  
Lulu: ( to her Cucco) I wuv Cwithmth, don't you Cucco?  
  
Cucco: Cluck coo COO! (translation: well I don't)  
  
:: Cucco struggles and escapes from its owners little arms::  
  
Lulu: Pwease come back Cucco!  
  
Cucco: COO coo coo-coo! (translation F*** you Lulu)  
  
::as we return to the singing we take one more look at Lulu pushing through the crowd of Gorons, Zora's, Kokiri and humans as she tries to catch the Cucco:: 


	2. 

Galaxy Girl: Next on our list is Darunia singing. err what is he singing?  
  
LL: Deck the Halls  
  
GG: What is it with Gorons and Deck the Halls?  
  
LL:?  
  
Sticky: ::Holds up a clipboard with the carol list on it:: get on with it!  
  
GG: ok don't rush me  
  
LL: Here's my dad singing "Deck The Halls"  
  
Deck the Halls with boughs of holly  
  
Fa la la la la  
  
la la la la.  
  
'tis the season to be jolly.  
  
Fa la la la la  
  
La la la la.  
  
Don we now my gay apparel  
  
Fa la la fa la la la la la.  
  
Troll the ancient yuletide carol  
  
Fa la la la la la laa laa LAAA!  
  
:: As Darunia stops the crowd let out sighs of relief and remove the cotton wool from their ears:: 


	3. 

::Suddenly there is a load crash as a large Christmas tree crashes onto the stage due to Lulu and her Cucco::  
  
Lulu: Come back Cucco! we can go to get ice cweem! Or cown you wike cown don't you Cucco  
  
:: Lulu chases the Cucco away while sticky is panicking over the destruction::  
  
Sticky: Oh no my lovely stage! Quickly help me clean up this mess. Poppet get the broom, GG pick up the tree using you super powers, Misty D put out the fires, Winter Daze you distract the crowd and I'll stop Lulu and her Cucco from causing any more damage.  
  
MD: What do I do?  
  
Sticky: ::tracking down Lulu:: go on to the next song silly  
  
MD: err ok umm here's link singing.  
  
RUTO THE PURPLE FISH GIRL!  
  
1 (To the tune to Rudolph the red nose reindeer)  
  
2 Ruto the purple fish girl,  
  
3 Had a very ugly face  
  
She is one putrid Zora!  
  
Ugliest person of her race  
  
All of the other Zora's,  
  
Used to laugh and call her names  
  
They never let poor Ruto join all their Zora games  
  
Then one rainy Christmas Eve,  
  
Zelda came to say.  
  
Ruto with your flesh so white.  
  
Won't you be my tea tonight!  
  
Then all the other Zora's  
  
They shouted out with glee,  
  
Ruto the ugly fish girl  
  
You'll go down in infamy! 


	4. 

MD: Ok then err how are we with our situation  
  
Sticky: we're clear now I'll take over  
  
And now Poppet and myself will sing.  
  
The Australian version of Jingle Bells.  
  
Dashing through the bush, in a rusty Holden Ute,  
  
kickin' up the dust, Eskey in the boot.  
  
Kelpie by my side, singing Christmas songs,  
  
it's summer time and I'm in my singlet shorts and thongs,  
  
Chorus: Oh, Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way,  
  
Christmas in Australia, on a scorching summers day,  
  
Oi!, Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut'  
  
Oh what fun it is to ride, in a rusty Holden ute.  
  
Engine's getting hot, we dodge the kangaroos  
  
Swaggie climbs aboard - he is welcome too,  
  
All the family is there, sitting by the pool,  
  
Christmas day the Aussie way by the Barbecue.  
  
Jingle Bells....  
  
Come the afternoon, Grandpa has a doze,  
  
the kids and Uncle Bruce are swimming in their clothes,  
  
the time comes 'round to go, we take a family snap,  
  
we pack the car and all shoot through before the washing up!  
  
Jingle Bells....  
  
GG: ::Giggles:: that was funny. Is that what Christmas is like over there?  
  
Sticky: it's exaggerated  
  
Poppet: Greatly exaggerated  
  
Sticky: My dad drives a rust free Toyota!  
  
Poppet: and mine a carriage  
  
WD: can we go on now?  
  
Poppet: sure who's next?  
  
Sticky: Saria, singing "The Little Drummer Boy" 


	5. 

1.1.1.1 The Little Drummer Boy Girl  
  
1.1.1.1.1 Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,  
  
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,  
  
So, to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,  
  
When we come.  
  
1.1.1.1.2 Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,  
  
Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,  
  
On my drum?  
  
1.1.1.1.3 Mary Nodded, pa rum pum pum pum,  
  
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
I play me best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,  
  
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum  
  
Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum  
  
me and my drum  
  
1.1.1.2 :: If sung properly this cause people to cry so it was no surprise that Saria's lovely voice bought tears to the eyes of the crowd:: 


	6. 

:: Meanwhile Lulu and Cucco were still "playing tag". on a catwalk high above the stage::  
  
Lulu: come here widdle Cucco.  
  
Cucco: CUCCO-COO-COO! (translation: Nyah! =P you can't catch me!)  
  
::Lulu gets closer to the Cucco but it flies away startling her and making her fall.::  
  
Lulu: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH ::THUMP::  
  
:: Lulu's fall was broken by a large body mass::  
  
Lulu: Santa?  
  
Rauru: Nope I'm Rauru and I'm the next act  
  
Lulu: Oh! You haven't seen a Cucco running around have you?  
  
Rauru: no time to talk gotta go.  
  
:: Rauru gets ready to go out on stage::  
  
Winter Daze: The next act is Rauru singing.  
  
All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth  
  
Every body stops  
  
and stares at me  
  
These two teeth are  
  
gone as you can see  
  
I don't know just who  
  
to blame for this catastrophe!  
  
But my one wish on Christmas Eve  
  
is as plain as it can be!  
  
All I want for Christmas  
  
is my two front teeth,  
  
my two front teeth,  
  
see my two front teeth!  
  
Gee, if I could only  
  
have my two front teeth,  
  
then I could with you  
  
"Merry Christmas."  
  
It seems so long since I could say,  
  
"Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!"  
  
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,  
  
if I could only whistle (thhhh)  
  
All I want for Christmas  
  
is my two front teeth,  
  
my two front teeth,  
  
see my two front teeth.  
  
Gee, if I could only  
  
have my two front teeth,  
  
then I could wish you  
  
"Merry Christmas!"  
  
:: Hysterical laughter is heard all through the crowd::  
  
Crowd: HAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Rauru: Whaa haa haa :: runs out crying:: 


	7. 

LL: Up next is. is.. err umm Zelda singing Greensleeves..  
  
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,  
  
To cast me off discourteously  
  
For I have loved you well and long,  
  
Delighting in your company  
  
Greensleeves was all my joy  
  
Greensleeves was my delight,  
  
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,  
  
And who but my lady greensleeves  
  
Your vows you've broken, like my heart,  
  
Oh, why did you so enrapture me?  
  
Now I remain in a world apart  
  
But my heart remains in captivity  
  
I have been ready at your hand,  
  
To grant whatever you would crave,  
  
I have both wagered life and land,  
  
Your love and good-will for to have  
  
If you intend thus to disdain,  
  
It does the more enrapture me,  
  
And even so, I still remain  
  
A lover in captivity  
  
My men were clothed all in green,  
  
And they did ever wait on thee;  
  
All this was gallant to be seen,  
  
And yet thou wouldst not love me  
  
Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,  
  
but still thou hadst it readily  
  
Thy music still to play and sing;  
  
And yet thou wouldst not love me  
  
Well, I will pray to God on high,  
  
that thou my constancy mayst see,  
  
And that yet once before I die,  
  
Thou wilt vouchsafe to love me  
  
Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu,  
  
To God I pray to prosper thee,  
  
For I am still thy lover true,  
  
Come once again and love me 


	8. 

::Noticing the problem between the Cucco and its owner Kakariko village's Cucco lady decided to help the with catching of the fore mentioned Cucco::  
  
CL: It's over there!  
  
Lulu: no there it goes  
  
CL: oh I missed it!  
  
Lulu: Do'h  
  
:: and thus it went for many hours until eventully they caught the Cucco and returned it to it's pen.  
  
As for Lulu she was so tired that she fell asleep and missed out on these songs.::  
  
A/n I'm trying to rush it a little aren't I?  
  
Poppet: And now is Gannondorf singing.  
  
White Christmas  
  
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas  
  
Just like the ones I used to know  
  
Where the treetops glisten  
  
and children listen  
  
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.  
  
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas  
  
With every Christmas card I write  
  
May your days be merry and bright  
  
And may all your Christmases be white.  
  
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas  
  
With every Christmas card I write  
  
May your days be merry and bright  
  
And may all your Christmases be white!  
  
:: He sung it in perfectly! The crowd were shocked to find that someone so ugly could sing so well, it was just like original. which it was! Hidden backstage was a recording being played while Gannondorf just moved his mouth( but nobody found out):: 


	9. 

Sticky: Whoa great singing voice!  
  
Poppet: Well wer'e almost done so we'll just intoduce our last act.  
  
Sticky: We'll all sing.  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas,  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a Happy New Year!  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas,  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a Happy New Year!  
  
Good tidings to you, wherever you are;  
  
Good tidings for Christmas, And a Happy New Year!  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas,  
  
We wish you a Merry Christmas, And a Happy New Year!  
  
::The song ended and the crowd dispersed except Lulu who was still sleeping on a couch in Zeldas castle ::  
  
Zelda: can you get her out of my castle!  
  
Sticky: come on Zel can't you let her sleep it is Christmas eve and now that the sages have let it get cold again she'll freeze and then who'll chase that blasted Cucco around?  
  
Zelda: oh all right Impa will get her a blanket!  
  
Sticky: thank's a lot Zel you're the best! Come now Poppy lets go.  
  
Poppet see ya, everyone!  
  
Saria: bye Poppy  
  
LL: Lets go GG.  
  
GG: I'll be going now.  
  
Link: Bye Bye  
  
MD: I've got to go now.  
  
Link: Hum  
  
WD: I'd better go.  
  
Saria Bye Bye Winter Daze  
  
:: There is a white flash of light and everyone is gone.::  
  
THE END  
  
So how was it? You like? Well then Review damn it  
  
'c ya and keep reading.  
  
STICKY BUN 


End file.
